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Well-Being

Introduction:

Well-being is more than just being healthy or happy. It’s a sense of vitality, connection, and purpose that comes from your thoughts, emotions, actions, and experiences.

Skill Definition:

  • I can take care of myself (and others) …heart, mind, body and soul.

Key Learning Points:

  • We need to take care of ourselves emotionally (heart), intellectually (mind), physically (body) and spiritually (soul) to thrive.
  • Key elements of well-being are meaning, achievement, positive emotions, relationship, engagement.  Source:  Flourish by Martin Seligman.

Learning Path:

  • Make a choice to thrive rather than just “be OK” or survive.
  • Set personal goals in each of the PERMA model elements (see below) and identify at least one action in each of these elements.

Deeper Topics:

  • The PERMA model was devised by prominent psychologist Martin Seligman, often considered the founder of positive psychology. His work has focused on supporting individuals to understand better what happiness means for them, and he is a recognized authority on different therapeutic interventions that build resilience and wellbeing.  Seligman (2011) describes the PERMA model in his book Flourish. Simply put, it is a breakdown of the individual elements in life that Seligman believes can help us cultivate greater overall happiness and wellbeing.  These elements are the foundation of happiness, and understanding how each element applies to the self is key to understanding where we might be able to make positive changes.  Five elements form the acronym PERMA:  positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement.  Source:  Positive Psychology.

 

  • Positive Emotions.  Positive emotions can be defined as pleasant multicomponent response tendencies.
    Research shows that positive emotions may contribute to positive outcomes like longevity, improved immune function, and less pain.  Source:  Psychology Today.  Here are some examples:

    • Excitement: A feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness.
    • Delight: To take great emotional pleasure in something.
    • Astonishment: A feeling of great surprise and wonder.
    • Happiness: Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.
    • Pleased: A feeling of pride or satisfaction.
    • Content: A state of happiness and satisfaction.
    • Relaxed: A state of being at rest or ease.
    • Calm: Not excited or upset.

Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • Are you surviving or thriving?
  • What would the vision for your life be if you were thriving/flourishing?
  • What (negative) beliefs do I have that hold me back from thriving?
  • What makes a great day/week/year?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition:

  • Flourish.  Grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.

Web Articles/Short Stories/Essays:

  • What Is Well-Being? Definition, Types, and Well-Being Skills.  Well-being is the experience of health, happiness, and prosperity. It includes having good mental health, high life satisfaction, a sense of meaning or purpose, and the ability to manage stress. More generally, well-being is just feeling well.  Source:  Psychology Today.
  • Well-Being Concepts.  Well-being is a positive outcome that is meaningful for people and for many sectors of society, because it tells us that people perceive that their lives are going well. Good living conditions (e.g., housing, employment) are fundamental to well-being. Tracking these conditions is important for public policy. However, many indicators that measure living conditions fail to measure what people think and feel about their lives, such as the quality of their relationships, their positive emotions and resilience, the realization of their potential, or their overall satisfaction with life—i.e., their “well-being.”1, 2 Well-being generally includes global judgments of life satisfaction and feelings ranging from depression to joy.  Source:  CDC.gov.
  • The workforce well-being imperative.  Some organizations have publicly committed to addressing workforce well-being issues and have allocated significant resources to drive improvements in health, well-being, and productivity—an average of US$11 million a year for companies with more than 20,000 employees1—but their investments, while signaling support, may not be working when you look at the outcomes.  Source:  Deloitte Insights.
  • Well-Being.  Well-being, or wellbeing,[1] also known as wellness, prudential value or quality of life, refers to what is intrinsically valuable relative to someone. So the well-being of a person is what is ultimately good for this person, what is in the self-interest of this person.  Source:  Wikipedia.
  • Positive Psychology Theory.  While positive psychology has seen tremendous growth over the past decade, the central theories in the field are continuing to evolve. Source:  University of Pennsylvania, Authentic Happiness.

Books:

Videos:

 Quotes:

  • “Adopt responsibility for your own well-being, try to put your family together, try to serve your community, try to seek for eternal truth… That’s the sort of thing that can ground you in your life, enough so that you can withstand the difficulty of life.”  Jordan Peterson
  • “More compassionate mind, more sense of concern for other’s well-being, is source of happiness.”  Dalai Lama

One-Point Lesson:

Related Skills:

Dr. Victor Garcia Resources

This page contains resources and links presented by or referred to by Dr. Victor Garcia at the GCMLA 2021 Summit.

Dr Garcia’s Short Biography

Victor Garcia MD is a full-time pediatric surgeon at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center and Professor of Surgery and Pediatrics, at the University of Cincinnati School of Medicine.  He authored or co-authored nearly 100 publications focusing on childhood injuries, pediatric obesity, and community-based interventions to prevent childhood and adolescent injury and illness.  Vic has received numerous awards and commendations. He has twice been awarded the Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award and was invited by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges to be the keynote speaker for the 36th National Conference on Juvenile Justice in 2009.  Click here to see his LinkedIn profile.

Presentation and Slides Used at the 2021 GCMLA Summit on November 19, 2021

This shares the slides and various resources provided by Dr. Victor Garcia following the 2021 GCMLA Summit.

  • Recorded Zoom Video… click here.
  • Slides in PDF format (open embedded file).

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Becoming a Man

THE CHALLENGE Preventing youth violence and improving schooling outcomes for disadvantaged youth remain two of our nation’s most urgent challenges. While we have made dramatic strides in addressing many of the leading public health problems in America over the past 50 years, there remains one notable and particularly devastating exception—homicide.  THE INTERVENTION: BECOMING A MAN (BAM) Youth Guidance’s BAM program offers youth the opportunity to participate in one-hour, once-per-week group sessions held during the school day. BAM uses standard elements of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help youth to recognize their automatic responses and slow down their thinking in high-stakes situations.

  • See embedded files for Becoming a Man…full report and two-page summary.

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Raising of America

The science is clear: when parents are stressed, babies pay the price. That is why improving conditions for families with young children is one of the best investments any nation can make.

  • Raising of America Video…click here for web site and videos.

Other Resources (Articles and Videos)

  • Lead Exposure, Concentrated Disadvantage, and Violent Crime Rates Abstract.

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  • Punishing and toxic neighborhood environments independently predict the intergenerational social mobility of black and white children.

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  • Next-Generation Policing Research: Three Propositions.

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  • A Community-Based Approach to Reducing Gun Violence.

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Prepared by Tony Aloise and Bob Miller

Trauma

Note:  This “wiki” page is written for volunteers and “general” non-profit employees, not for medical or mental health professionals. It is an intentionally “basic” introduction to enable you to get started on this important topic that affects the lives of the people you serve.

Introduction:

Psychological trauma is damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.  Source: Wikipedia.

Skill Definition:

  • I can ask questions to ascertain potential elements of trauma in the people I serve.
  • I can use to my understanding to deliver “trauma informed care”.

Key Learning Points:

  • Trauma is common in the people served by local non profits.
  • Trauma examples include abuse, divorce of parents, death of a family member and more.  See Deeper Topics for more info.
  • There is a relationship between ACES (__) and incidents of poverty, alcohol and drug abuse …

Learning Path:

  • Develop a general understanding of trauma and the elements that cause it.
  • Use your knowledge and experience to improve your care delivery, e.g. case management or mentoring.

Deeper Topics:

  • Causes of Trauma.  Source:  Looking Through Their Eyes.  The most common causes of childhood trauma include:  accidents, bullying/cyberbullying, chaos or dysfunction in the house (such as domestic violence, parent with a mental illness, substance abuse or incarcerated), death of a loved one, emotional abuse or neglect, physical abuse or neglect, separation from a parent or caregiver, sexual abuse, stress caused by poverty, sudden and/or serious medical condition, violence (at home, at school, or in the surrounding community), war/terrorism and more.
  • Outcomes of Trauma.

Image Source.
  • Trauma Informed Care.  Source:  Trauma Informed Care Resource Center.  Trauma-informed care shifts the focus from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” A trauma-informed approach to care acknowledges that health care organizations and care teams need to have a complete picture of a patient’s life situation — past and present — in order to provide effective health care services with a healing orientation. Adopting trauma-informed practices can potentially improve patient engagement, treatment adherence, and health outcomes, as well as provider and staff wellness. It can also help reduce avoidable care and excess costs for both the health care and social service sectors.  Trauma-informed care seeks to:
    • Realize the widespread impact of trauma and understand paths for recovery;
    • Recognize the signs and symptoms of trauma in patients, families, and staff;
    • Integrate knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, and practices; and
    • Actively avoid re-traumatization.

Image Source.

We were privileged to have Dr. Victor Garcia speak at our 2021 Greater Cincinnati Mentor Leadership Alliance.

Click here to see his video, slides and many resources.

Exercises:

  • Consider using the Understanding Trauma and Its Impact Activity Packet to create content for your organization.

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • What are examples of trauma exist in my own life or in the lives of people I live and work with?
  • If I learn that trauma is an influence, how will it affect me in conducting my job (or volunteer role).

Tools and Templates:

  • Trauma Checklist for Youth and Adults.  Source: University of Washington.

Word Definition:

  • Trauma.  a deeply distressing or disturbing experience; emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may be associated with physical shock and sometimes leads to long-term neurosis.

Web Articles:

Books:

Videos:

Local Workshops:

  • We would like to add locally available workshops.  Contact Tony Aloise is you have a workshop or training event to share.

Quotes:

  • “Trauma has the power to rob our lives of vitality and destroy it. However, we can also use it for powerful self-renewal and transformation. Trauma, resolved, is a blessing from a greater power.”  Peter Levine

One-Point Lessons:

  • None at this time.

Process Management (Members)

Access requires login and at least Member-level membership.

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Prayer

Mountain praise

Introduction:

Prayer is to our spiritual life what blood is to our physical life. Prayer is that ongoing conversation with God that keeps our spirit alive and in touch with the source of life. The “stuff” of prayer is our lives, the word, and silence. Reflecting on our lives empowers us to hear what God is saying to us in our experience. The word is our rich tradition of sacred scripture, sacred writing and common prayer that we can “enter into” to hear what God is saying through these to us. Silence is the emptying of ourselves to be open to what God is saying, being, calling us to.

In silence we discern God’s will.

Skill Definition:

  • I can reflect on my day and be attentive to what God is saying to me, calling me to be and do.
  • I can read and reflect on scripture and hear what God is saying to me.
  • I can be silent and open to what God is saying to me.
  • I can share what I hear from God with others and discern God’s voice and God’s will.

Key Learning Points:

  • Reflective listening is taking quiet time to review your life daily and see how God is present in your life, what God is saying to you and calling you to. ACTS and the Exam are two common ways to do this.
  • Reflective reading is reading the Bible or other sacred writings to see what it meant to those who experienced the event or witness at the time, and what it means to you today. Lectio Divina and Contemplation are two common ways to do this.
  • Silence is the discipline of setting aside distractions to listen to the Spirit, to hear God’s end of the conversation.
  • Discernment is tending to our feelings in prayer, being aware of what draws us closer (consolation) or farther (desolation) from God.

Faith Worldview:

Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts. ― Mother Teresa

Learning Path:

  • Read and watch the resources listed above.
  • Spend time practicing each type of prayer—reflective listening, reflective reading, silence.
  • Be aware of your feelings of desolation and consolation and ask God what they mean for you.
  • Find a faith friend that you can share your experiences with and seek affirmation, correction and accountability.

Deeper Topics:

  • Reflective listening guides

o   ACTS—adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication   How does one pray?

o   The Examen   How Can I Pray?   Into the Examen Video   The Examen Video

 

  • Discernment

o   Consolation and Desolation   Discernment: Consolation and Desolation Discernment of Spirits Video

Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

  • How do I pray?
    • 3 P’s Place, Posture & Presence—Find a place where you won’t be disturbed; find a posture that’s comfortable for you but not so comfortable that’s you’ll fall asleep; let yourself be really present, set aside whatever you’ve been doing or feel you need to do.
    • Introduce ACTs prayer and give participants the quiet time to practice it.
    • Introduce Examen using videos Into the Examen Video The Examen Video and give participant the quiet time to practice it.
    • Feedback

 

  • Praying with Scripture
    • “Bible” means library; it’s a collection of books that tell of God revealing Godself through history. But it’s not just historic, God speaks to us through scripture today. Here are two common ways to listen to God, to pray with scripture.
    • Introduce Lection Divina—with one or more of these videos Uncover The Word – Lectio Divina Up, In, Out What is “Lectio Divina”? Give participants passages they can practice the process with (i.e. 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, Romans 8:28-39, Matthew 25:31-46) Give them time to practice Lection Divina with one of these passages.
    • Introduce Contemplation with Contemplation Give participants Bible Stories i.e. woman at the well, wedding at Cana, feeding of the 5,000. Give them time to practice Contemplation with one of these passages.
    • Feedback

 

  • Befriending Silence
    • It may be very hard to be silent. We may like our cell phones, music, videos, video games but it’s important to choose silence at least one a day for at least 15 minutes a day (you may have to work up to that if silence is really foreign to you). In silence we can listen to God—empty ourselves and be filled with God’s spirit, God’s love and become aware of who we are and what we are called to do.
    • Watch The Tea Cup
    • Share insights about the distractions from the reading you’ve done i.e. Chattering Monkeys
    • Give participants time to practice silence. Remind them of the 3 P’s: Place, Posture, and Presence.
    • In Rhythm of Life Matthew Kelly suggests the mantra: “Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am. Be still and know. Be still. Be.” Gently repeat until you can just “be”, ….

 

  • Discernment and Spiritual Friendship
    • In prayer we can discern, come to an awareness of, what is good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, good or best etc. for us to doing or how we are being. We pay attention to what feels right, consolation, and ask “Where is this leading me?” And we pay attention to what feels wrong, desolation, and ask “How can I redirect myself from this?”
    • Watch Discernment of Spirits Video
    • Often it’s easy to be deceived about what’s right and what’s wrong. Having a spiritual friend that can be honest with you about your failings and celebrate your successes is an important part of discernment. Sometime that friend needs to be someone trained but most often it can be a friend that you know has good standards and is seeking what’s best for him or herself as well. Follow the lesson Spiritual Friendship

Exercises for Younger Teens (13-16):

  • Same as above

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • How do I pray?
  • Do I read and pray the Bible? How?
  • How much time do I spend in silence with God each day and how can I improve?
  • What is God saying to me in prayer?
  • What makes me feel consolation? Desolation?
  • Do I have a spiritual friend in my life? If not, who would make a good spiritual friend for me?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition:

  • Prayer. Conversation with God
  • Lectio Divina (Latin for divine reading). Traditional Benedictine practice of scriptural reading, meditation and prayer intended to promote communion with God and to increase the knowledge of God’s Word.
  • Spiritual consolation. Experienced when our hearts are drawn toward God, even if…this happens in circumstances that the world would regard as negative
  • Desolation. Experience of the soul in heavy darkness or turmoil. We are assaulted by all sorts of doubts, bombarded by temptations, and mired in self-preoccupations. We are excessively restless and anxious and feel cut off from others.

Short Stories/Essays:

Books:

Videos:

Quotes:

Faith-Based Quotes:

  • “To pray is no small thing. It is nothing less than a sacred pilgrimage into the heart of the whole world.” – Wayne Muller

One-Point Lesson:

Related Skills:

 Summary 2-page Lesson Examples:

  • None at this time.

A special thank you to Linda Wihl for the Christian Spirituality wikis. Linda is a local leader in the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. http://www.ivcusa.org/

Loving

Mountain praise

Introduction:

Love is the force that brings us to life. Knowing you’re beloved of God, forgiven and have forgiven those whose faults you’ve dwelt on, you are free! You are free to love others. Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages has shed light on love for couples and families. He makes us aware of the differences in how we receive love and how we can better communicate love to one another appreciating our differences. These same love languages speak to those outside of our homes as well. Jesus calls us to love even the “least of my brothers”. We are called to love through compassionate service, even if this is not your native “love language”.

Skill Definition:

  • I am aware of the importance of saying, “I love you.”
  • I am aware of the 5 Love Languages and can identify my primary language as well as those closest to me.
  • I can expose myself to speaking and understanding all five of the love languages.
  • I know the difference between a helper and a servant.
  • I can grow as a servant and care of “the least of my brothers.”
  • I know the Spiritual and Corporal works of mercy and can discern which of these I am called to do as a servant of God.

Key Learning Points:

  • “We love because God first loved us.” 1 John 4:19. We are called to love.
  • “Quality time, physical touch, affirmation, receiving gifts, and acts of service are known as the 5 Love Languages that reflect what makes us feel loved.” Gary Chapman
  • I need to be aware of how to communicate love to others in ways that are meaningful to them.
  • “What we do to others, we do to Jesus.” Matthew 25:40
  • There are key differences between a helper and a servant; Jesus calls us to be servants.—see below.
  • Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy—see below.

Faith Worldview:

  • We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
  • For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous*will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’  And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:35-40

Learning Path:

  • Reflect on the 5 Love Languages using the resources below.
  • Read the handout on Helpers and Servants and reflect on the differences you’ve encountered.
  • Reflect on how you have been called to respond to God’s love by serving others.

Deeper Topics:

  • Five Love Languages: Source: Gary Chapman at 5LoveLanguages.com
    • Quality time:This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
    • Physicaltouch: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
    • Affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people.
    • Receiving gifts: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
    • Acts of Service: For these people, actions speak louder than words.*

*Though one of the love languages is called “Acts of Service”, we would like to go much farther. Service is a way of living, out of which acts arise. For example, the husband who says, “How can I help you?” on the surface may appear to be thoughtful, but the work being addressed is usually communal responsibility. To offer “help” implies that the work belongs to the wife and the willingness to participate in the task is not seen as taking responsibility for the common good but doing a “favor” for a spouse. The difference between “helping” and “serving” are significant:

Helpers Servants
Ego—the emphasis is on my goodness Equality—the emphasis is on common good
Task—completing the job at hand is the priority Person—the ability to meet people’s needs & develop their abilities to meet their own needs is the priority
Excuses—the other’s challenges dismiss them from responsibility—victim mentality Expectations—despite challenges the other can achieve—victor mentality
Flattery—generalized praise not based on merit and often results in quantity not quality Affirmation—acknowledging observed accomplishments and skills—results in quality over quantity
Visitor Companion

The phrase used by those who work in social justice, “preferential option for the poor” means that those who are poor receive priority. Poverty can be economic, spiritual, emotional, social, those who are marginalized for any reason.

  • Works of Mercy. The Corporal & Spiritual Works of Mercy are actions we can perform that extend God’s compassion & mercy to those in need. The Corporal Works of Mercy are kind acts by which we help our neighbors with their material and physical needs. The Spiritual Works of Mercy are acts of compassion by which we help our neighbors with their emotional and spiritual needs.
Corporal Works of Mercy tend to bodily needs of others. Spiritual Works of Mercy tend to the spiritual needs of others
feed the hungry instruct
shelter the homeless advise
clothe the naked console
visit the sick and imprisoned comfort
bury the dead forgive
give alms to the poor bear wrongs patiently
  • Make a Choice: Once we are aware of the needs of another we can choose to:
    • neglect, ignore, fail to respond
    • abuse use a “language”: words, touch, gifts to exploit and demean or
    • meet them, respond with concern and action.

Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

  • Living the Questions:–Break into three groups to discuss these questions for 20 to 30 minutes. Each group should come up with a way (skit, art, story, or song) to represent what they’ve discussed. Gather as a whole and share each group’s presentation.
    • What would the World be like without love?
    • Would you exist? Why do you exist?
    • Tradition states that we exist to know, love and serve God. How do you know, love and serve God?

 

 

  • Are you a helper or a server? Ask who is here to help? When they raise their hands ask then to leave.
    • Jesus asks us to be servants not helpers. Use the service handout and walk through the differences.
    • Go through the Works of Mercy. Which of these would you be willing to do? Have you done?
    • Review Make a Choice. Which of the works of mercy have you neglected? Abused? Responded to?

Exercises for Younger Teens (13-16):

  • Same as above

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • What is your primary love language?
  • Are you a helper or a servant?
  • What works of mercy are you involved in?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition:

  • Mercy is loving kindness, compassion.

Short Stories/Essays:

Books:

Videos:

Quotes:

Faith-Based Quotes:

Other Quotes:

  • “The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.” Yakov Smirnoff

One-Point Lesson:

Related Skills:

Summary 2-page Lesson Examples:

  • None at this time.

A special thank you to Linda Wihl for the Christian Spirituality wikis. Linda is a local leader in the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. http://www.ivcusa.org/

Gratitude

Mountain praise

Introduction:

Secular living is often driven by consumption and fear of scarcity, what are we missing? Christian living is the assurance of God’s providence and gratitude for God’s gifts, what are our blessings? Jesus encouraged us to “Consider the lilies of the field…consider the birds of the air…  If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.” Matthew 6:26-33. We live in gratitude, not fear. Saying thank you to others, with our words and our deeds, shares our gratitude and transforms society.

Skill Definition:

  • I reflect on my day and what, who I am grateful for.
  • I look at the day’s challenges and be open to what they may teach me.
  • I say “thank you” promptly, sincerely, graciously, specifically, warmly…
  • I let others know I value them.

Key Learning Points:

  • Gratitude and saying ‘thanks’ empowers me to see God’s presence in my life and providence.
  • Silent reflection and “rummaging” through my day gives me clarity to see God’s providence.
  • Even the challenges are often God’s way of “refining” me and I can be aware of and trust God’s work in me.
  • Saying thank you to others shows them that I appreciate them and they are important to me and to God.

Faith Worldview:

“If we can realize that everything is God’s gift, how happy will our hearts be! Everything is his gift. He is our strength! …Saying ‘thank you’ is such an easy thing and yet so hard…How often do we say ‘thank you’ to one another in our families? These are essential words for our life in common. If families can say these three things, they will be fine: ‘sorry,’ ‘excuse me,’ ‘thank you.’ How often do we say ‘thank you’ to those who help us, those close to us, those at our side throughout life? All too often we take everything for granted.” Pope Francis

Learning Path:

  • To reflect on the power of gratitude and saying thanks, click on the stories, tools, quotes and videos below.
  • Take time, ideally at least twice a day to think about what you are grateful for, write it down and thank God.
  • Practice saying “thank you” to others and record these in your journal as well.
  • Even the challenges I experience can be “the refiner’s fire”, write how is God drawing me closer through trials?
  • Look back on your week or longer in your journal and see the movement of your spirit.

Deeper Topics:

o   Ingratitude is a vice that is extremely common but at the same time extremely poisonous to society. Society is a beneficiary network, that is, it is structured by the benefits we receive and give; benefits are freely given acts of good will that both please and are pleasing to give because they are necessary or useful in some way.

o   The nature of a benefit is constituted by the intention of the giving and its effect on the mind, not by the nature of the thing given. Someone who gives small things nobly is giving greater benefit than someone who gives great things ignobly.

o   Benefits are “the chief bond of human society”, which is itself a dance of benefits (the dance of the Graces is an example of how the movement of benefit from person to person makes society ordered and beautiful). Ingratitude breaks up the dance, and the purpose of Seneca’s work is to lay down rules for giving benefits and being a beneficiary in order to counter the corrosive effect of ingratitude…

 Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

  • Gratitude—seeing the glass half full rather than half empty makes us happy and increases our awareness of God’s providence.
    • View the video Gratitude: Louie Schwartzberg Ask the group, “What are some of the things you’re thankful for?
    • Each student should have a notebook. Encourage each individual to take quiet time to reflect on things to be thankful for and write them down.
    • Play the video All Good Gifts

 

 

  • Saying “Thank You”

 

 

 

  • Gratitude Crafts
    • Create a Family Gratitude Box!
    • Write each “Bible Verses on Being Thankful” on an index card and put them in a file box. Flip through them to remind you. As you discover them add gratitude quotes and scripture verses that inspire you.

Exercises for Younger Teens (13-16):

  • Same as above

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • What am I grateful for today?
  • What are some of the benefits of the challenges I faced today?
  • Who am I grateful for today?
  • What are some of the things I’ve taken for granted today?
  • Is my glass half-empty or half-full?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition: from wikipedia

  • Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.
  • Providence, the protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power.
  • Secular— denoting attitudes, activities, or other things that have no religious or spiritual basis.
  • Refining— remove impurities or unwanted elements, improve (something) by making small changes.

Short Stories/Essays:

Books:

Videos:

Quotes:

Faith-Based Quotes:

  • 20 Bible Verses on Being Thankful
  • “This is by the Grace of my Lord to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for (the good of) his own self, and whoever is ungrateful, (he is ungrateful only for the loss of his own self). Certainly! My Lord is Rich (Free of all wants), Bountiful” [An-Naml: 40]

Other Quotes:

  • Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. – Denis Waitley
  • At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. – Albert Schweitzer

I THANK YOU GOD FOR MOST THIS AMAZING DAY

i thank You God for most this amazing day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any–lifted from the no of all nothing–human merely being doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened) —e.e. cummings

One-Point Lesson:

Related Skills:

Summary 2-page Lesson Examples:

  • None at this time.

A special thank you to Linda Wihl for the Christian Spirituality wikis. Linda is a local leader in the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. http://www.ivcusa.org/

Healing Memories – Forgiveness

Mountain praise

Introduction:

Forgiveness is the letting go of negative emotions from the hurts (real or imagined) others inflict on me. It does not mean to condone, excuse, or forget the wrong doing but frees me and the other from my anger and other related, negative emotions. Unless we forgive, we cannot be free. When Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us…as we forgive…” that was not a threat but a realization that if we do not forgive others we are bound by our lack of forgiveness as well.

Skill Definition:

  • I can recognize who I need to forgive.
  • I can forgive those who hurt me.
  • I can let go of resentment, anger and contempt.
  • I can move from resentment to gratitude, fear to love, exclusion to inclusion.

Key Learning Points:

  • Jesus made it very clear that we are called to forgive others, “and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
  • Resentment, anger and contempt are negative emotions that can result from a lack of forgiveness and limit my ability to love and live.
  • Spiritual growth leads to movement from: resentment to gratitude, fear and anger to love, contempt/exclusion to inclusion.

Faith Worldview:

“The joy of God is the joy of forgiveness. It is the joy of the shepherd who finds his lost sheep; the joy of the woman who finds her lost coin; the joy of the father who welcomes home his lost son.”

“This is all the Gospel, here; this is Christianity! But this is not sentimentalism or bland ‘do-goodism’; on the contrary, mercy is the true force that can save man and the world from the ‘cancer’ of sin, from moral and spiritual malaise. Only love can fill the gaps, the negative abysses that evil opens up in our hearts and in history. Only love can do this, and this is the joy of God.” Pope Francis September 16, 2013

Learning Path:

Deeper Topics:

  • Resentment, Anger, Contempt. Robert C. Solomon, a professor of philosophy at the University of Texas at Austin, places resentment on the same line-continuum with contempt and anger. According to him, the differences between the three emotions are as follows: resentment is directed towards higher-status individuals, anger is directed towards equal-status individuals and contempt is directed towards lower-status individuals. These negative emotions are the result of our inability to forgive others.
  • Spiritual Formation. Henri Nouwen, a psychologist, theologian and priest taught that spiritual formation, (growth in the spirit) can be shown as movement between polarities and the three polarities he describes that relate to forgiveness are:
    • from resentment to gratitude
    • from fear to love
    • from exclusion to inclusion

Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

  •  What is Resentment and how do I forgive those I resent?
    • Sometimes we feel like someone is being treated better than we are and we resent that.
    • The Older brother in the parable of the prodigal son is often overlooked let’s watch The Other Prodigal Son –YouTube
    • Who do you resent? Confess your resentment “within a safe and supportive faith community”? “When this happens we create a space for forgiveness and grace…God’s liberating grace is able to make all things new. We learn how to sing a new song and develop a new spirit of thanksgiving in which all life can be received as a gift.” Henri Nouwen
    • Instead of focusing on what someone has that we don’t, we can focus on being grateful to God for what we do have and for the freedom to transform relationships. Spend time daily reflecting on what you have to be grateful for.
  •  What is anger how do I forgive those who make me angry?
    • How can I move from fear to love?
    • View Power of Forgiveness – YouTube
    • Why did Mary Johnson have a right to be “angry”?
    • How did Mary forgive “Oshay”?
    • How has Mary’s forgiveness improved her life and “Oshay’s”?
    • Who are you angry with? What can you do to free yourself and the person you are angry with?
    • Use tools below.
  • What is contempt and how do we free ourselves from contempt?
    • Robert Solomon states that contempt is directed towards people we see as “lower-status individuals”.
    • Sometime we judge people we don’t even know. Our prejudice, bias, contempt for those different from us is a kind of collective lack of acceptance hurting ourselves and them.
    • We need to move from excluding others to including others to be free. Watch video Circles
    • Who do you exclude (those who are differently abled? different skin color? Different status?)?
    • How can you, with God, draw a circle and let them in?

Exercises for Younger Teens (13-16):

  • Same as above

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • Who do I need to forgive?
  • How has my lack of forgiveness hurt myself, my relationships, and especially my relationship with God?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition:

  • Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, and lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. Wikipedia
  • Resentment is the experience of a negative emotion (anger or hatred, for instance) felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done Wikipedia
  • Anger is an emotional response related to one’s psychological interpretation of having been threatened. Often it indicates when one’sbasic boundaries are violated. Wikipedia
  • Contempt is a secondary emotion and is a mix of the primary emotions disgust and anger…directed towards lower-status individuals. Wikipedia

 Short Stories/Essays:

Books:

Videos:

Quotes:

Faith-Based Quotes:

  • “And beyou kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4-32
  • “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

Other Quotes:

  • “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Ghandi
  • “If we do an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, we will be a blind and toothless nation.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
  • “He drew a circle that shut me out. Heretic rebel, a thing to flout.  But love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle and took him in!” – Edwin Markham

One-Point Lesson:

Related Skills:

Summary 2-page Lesson Examples:

  • None at this time.

A special thank you to Linda Wihl for the Christian Spirituality wikis. Linda is a local leader in the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. http://www.ivcusa.org/

Healing Memories – Forgiven

Mountain praise

Introduction:

We are beloved of God and made in the image of God but we are not God. We are not perfect. We miss the mark (and sin). Sometimes we are unaware of our failings…”what we have done and what we have failed to do”. Regularly we need to acknowledge our failings, seek forgiveness and make restoration. Sometimes we are so aware of our failings that we wallow in remorse, shame and guilt. Yet God is God and God’s love is perfect, merciful and forgiving.

Skill Definition:

  • I can reflect on my day and attend to what I have done wrong or failed to do.
  • I can accept responsibility for my failures, seek forgiveness and restoration.
  • I can remember Christ who transforms remorse into sorrow, shame into compassion, and guilt into accepting forgiveness.

Key Learning Points:

  • Reflecting on my daily experience I can become aware of things I have done that were wrong and things I have failed to do that would have made a positive difference.
  • I can reflect on God’s mercy and forgiveness.
  • When I am plagued by on-going negative emotions I can focus on how Christ redeems my experience and heals my memories, remorse, shame and guilt.

Faith Worldview:

  • The Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not abandon you, destroy you, or forget the promise to your ancestors that he swore he would keep. Deuteronomy 4:31
  • Forgiveness is needed at two levels: first that I am forgiven, which frees me from my guilt; and secondly, that I forgive which frees me from my anger. Unless we forgive, we cannot be free. – Esther de Waal, Living with Contradiction: An Introduction to Benedictine Spirituality

Learning Path:

Deeper Topics:

  • “Please forgive me” and “I forgive you” can be a bridge that reestablishes relationship and allows healing of painful memories.
  • Beyond accepting responsibility I need to engage in dialogue with the person I’ve offended and be accountable for restoring what I can. Restorative Justice

Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

Moral Compass

  • When I reflect on my day I need a moral compass the 2 great commandments: Love God; and love your neighbor as yourself. I can also use the 10 commandments. Unfamiliar with the 10 commandments?
    • Get a copy of them from your faith community and with your mentor rewrite them in language you understand. You can view a sample via the 10 Commandments video.
    • Use these when you need help setting your moral compass and knowing right from wrong.

Awareness of God’s Mercy

  • Jesus called Peter, “The rock on whom I will build my church.” But long before Peter became that rock, that foundation, he made some big mistakes. Can you identify some of the mistakes Simon Peter made?
    • When he was coming down the mountain after Jesus was transfigured he tried to convince Jesus not to go to Jerusalem and face death. Jesus rebuked him, “Get behind me Satan.”
    • Peter tried to walk on water when he saw Jesus do it, but lost his focus on Jesus and started to drown.
    • Peter promised Jesus at the Last Supper that he would never desert Jesus, but wound up denying him three times that very night.
  • Write down your three biggest mistakes, failures or disappointments. Reflect on each one and ask God for mercy.
  • Show the video How Far the East is from the West

“Let It Go”

Let’s look at Henry Nowen’s definitions, results and remedies of remorse, shame and guilt…(from the book Discernment) Italics added

  • Memory of past actions can lead to remorse, whose root word, mordere, mean literally “to bite”! Remorse is the biting sensation that causes me to say: “How could I do such a things? Why did I let myself go this way? How stupid of me! How could I let that happen?” Remorse can keep me awake at night, make me restless during the day, and take away my peace of mind.
  • The pain of memory can also make me ashamed. Shame makes me aware of my surroundings and susceptible to the negative assessment of others. In shame I say, “What will others say about me? What will they think? Have I made a fool of myself? Will they laugh at me because of what I do or who I am?”
  • Guilt makes me realize that I have hurt someone else. In guilt I say, “I did harm to my friends. I have broken something precious. I have wounded another.” When I relate to my past with remorse, shame or guilt, the danger is that I will harden my heart and be unable to discern the divine presence within and without. When my heart is hardened it is closed, unavailable and cold. A hardened heart is a heart in which remorse has turned into morbid introspection, shame into low self-esteem, and guilt into defensiveness…
  • Remembering Christ
    • transforms remorse into contrition (saying I’m sorry)
    • converts shame to compassion, which allows us to reach out to others who share our struggles
    • prevents guild from overwhelming us and makes us receptive to forgiveness.
  • Many of us have been touched by the song, “Let It Go”, it’s not just a catchy tune, or great singing or music, it speaks to our hardened/frozen hearts. Watch video.
  • What do I need to let go of?

Why Should I Be Sorry?

  • You may be aware of the need to free yourself by forgiving others. Apartheid was a former social system in South Africa in which black people and people from other racial groups did not have the same political and economic rights as white people and were forced to live separately from white people. Archbishop Tutu, who suffered against apartheid, shares briefly when we should forgive others. Desmond Tutu How Do We Know We Need to Forgive
  • But if someone forgives us does that free us from the same painful memory just by them letting go of their pain? Take a look at this slightly longer video and see what Archbishop Tutu says we need to do, when we have been forgiven by others, to be free of the pain. Forgiveness: “What do you do to forgive someone?” – Archbishop Desmond Tutu
  • How do I access forgiveness? What does it mean to confess? Saying you are sorry to those you’ve offended.
  • To whom do I need to confess, say “I’m sorry” to, to “open the window”.
  • Make a list of those you need to say “I’m sorry” to. Pledge to tackle this list from the most important to the least in a reasonable amount of time.

Exercises for Younger Teens (13-16):

  • Same as above

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • What have I done today that I should not have done or could have done better?
  • Who do I need to ask to forgive me?
  • Do I need to restore a relationship? How?
  • What opportunity to do good today did I reject? Why?
  • What would I do differently?
  • God loves me without exception. Do I accept God’s forgiveness and mercy?
  • What causes me remorse, shame or guilt? How do I let it go?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition:

  • Remorse – deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed.
  • Shame – a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
  • Guilt – feelings of culpability for offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: morbid self-reproach.
  • Forgiveness – to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.

Short Stories/Essays:

  • Nothing available at this time.

Books:

  • The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D. or watch the video Saying the Four Things that Matter Most for Living and Dying Well
  • Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody by Allen R. Hunt

Videos:

Quotes:

  • “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ― Mark Twain
  • “I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves.” ― Maya Angelou

One-Point Lesson:

Related Skills:

Summary 2-page Lesson Examples:

  • Nothing available at this time.

A special thank you to Linda Wihl for the Christian Spirituality wikis. Linda is a local leader in the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. http://www.ivcusa.org/

Spirituality Intro

Mountain praise

Introduction:

Christian Spirituality is our life with God, our awareness of God and a lifestyle that responds to God’s love. Reflection and prayer are the tools to “find God” in our lives. Spiritual friendship and community helps us to find direction, be accountable for our spiritual growth. As we grow spiritually we reach out to others, especially those in need.

Skill Definition:

  • I can create a space for God in my life.
  • I can seek spiritual friendships and community that can enrich my relationship with God.
  • I can build my capacity to live a spiritual life from the heart and in service with others.

Key Learning Points:

  • It takes time and commitment to create a sacred space in your life in which God can act. Take time for quiet reflection.
  • A spiritual life needs friends and community that will hold us accountable to discipline and spiritual formation. Find trustworthy “soul friends”.
  • True faith leads me to act with compassion towards others. Discern the ways you are called to serve others.

Faith Worldview:

  • Christianity is not a religion or a philosophy, but a relationship and a lifestyle. Rick Warren Purpose Driven Life
  • “Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” Source: Pedro Arrupe, SJFinding God in All Things: A Marquette Prayer Book © 2009 Marquette University Press

Learning Path:

  • Carve out a time and a place to spend quiet time with God each day. Perhaps use the Examen or similar prayer tool to reflect on your day and how God is present in your life.
  • Seek out a spiritual director or trustworthy spiritual friend. For ideas read, “How to Find a Spiritual Director” by Rebecca Laird in Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith
  • As your heart expands in relationship with God it will lead you to serve others. Ask yourself “How can I be of service? For ideas read the chapter, “How Can I Be of Service?” from Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith by Henri Nouwen,

Deeper Topics:

3 C’s, adapted from Henri Nouwen:

  • Contemplation is the simple, yet profound act of reflecting on our life experience, on sacred scriptures, on the writings of those who’ve loved before us, on nature, and more to see God, to know love, and to connect with our source.
  • Community is a way of living: you gather around you people with whom you want to proclaim the truth that we are the beloved sons and daughters of God; the gathering of others who are aware of, or seek an awareness of this love, to support one another, to be accountable to one another, to clarify our calling both as individuals and as a group.
  • Compassion—to suffer with; sharing the love of God we experience with those who struggle with situations that make it hard to know that love, it can be as simple as listening to someone having a rough day, or as challenging and risky as advocating for the change of an oppressive system.

 

  • Rick Warren is another spiritual author, he describes spirituality with 3 B’: believing, belonging and becoming.

Exercises for Older Teens and Adults:

  • Mirror Image
    • Share, “Now and then I find something that I can’t help but think, ‘This makes God happy.’ It’s just so incredible that if I ponder it long enough I can see the image of God in it.”
    • Ask, “Do you want to see what I’m talking about?”
    • Hand the person a box to open with a mirror facing him or her upon opening it.
    • Scripture says God made you in his/her image and likeness. You are a child of God. Just like he said of Jesus at his baptism, God says to you, “You are my beloved, in whom I am well pleased.”
  • God’s Love Notes
    • View the youtube video “Who Am I?”
    • God loves you! He loves each one of us and longs to be in relationship with you.
    • Read over “God’s love notes” and choose at least one that speaks to you. Memorize it. And share it with others.
  • The Examen
    • We need to take time to be silent and listen to God
    • Watch video “The Examen Prayer for Teens” (Videos)
    • Distribute The Examen Prayer Card (Tools)
    • Choose some questions from the card and talk with God about it in silence
  • “Soul Friends”
    • We need friends who will help us grow spiritually.
    • Watch video “Three Types of Friends”
    • Who are your “soul friends”, confidants? (If you can’t identify anyone, how can you find one?)
  • How Can I Be of Service?
    • Mother Teresa of Calcutta was known for the great things she did for others yet she said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”
    • Show video “If You Give a Little Love You Can Get a Little Love of Your Own”
    • Sit in silence for a moment and think of ways God may be calling you to be of service.
  • Take part in a mentoring session (Mentor can gain insights from “Spiritual Mentoring” guide listed in tools)
  • Take part in service learning project (organize service learning opportunities using “Guide to Service Learning listed in tools)

Exercises for Younger Teens (13-16):

  • Same as above

Questions to Encourage Critical Thinking:

  • Is my life too busy to take the time to spend quiet time with God?
  • How can I carve out a time and place for God in my life?
  • Who in my life will hold me accountable for real spiritual growth?
  • Who can help me be sure that what I hear in the silence is God speaking and not my own idea of what God should say to me?
  • How can I be of service?

Tools and Templates:

Word Definition:

  • Spirituality. Source: Life in the Spirit, Phillip Sheldrake, S.J.
  • Spiritual direction. The practice of being with people as they attempt to deepen their relationship with thedivine, or to learn and grow in their own personal spirituality. Source: Wikipedia

 Web Articles/Short Stories/Essays:

Books:

Videos:

Quotes:

Faith-Based Quotes:

  • ”Spiritual formation requires taking an inward journey to the heart. Although this journey takes place in community and leads to service, the first task is to look within, reflect on our daily life, and find God and God’s activity right there. Source: Spiritual Formation by Henri Nouwen
  • “It may seem easier to be holy when no one else is around to frustrate your preferences, but that is a false, untested holiness. Isolation breeds deceitfulness; it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships. We need more than the Bible in order to grow; we need other believers. We grow faster and stronger by learning from each other and being accountable to each other. When others share what God is teaching them, I learn and grow too. by Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life
  • “At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done….We can do no great thing, only small things with great love.” ― Mother Teresa

Other Quotes:

  • “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Life is for service.” ― Fred Rogers, Life’s Journeys According to Mister Rogers: Things to Remember Along the Way
  • “Service is the rent we pay for being. It is the very purpose of life, and not something you do in your spare time.” ― Marian Wright Edelman

One-Point Lesson:

 Related Skills:

 Summary 2-page Lesson Examples:

  • None at this time.

A special thank you to Linda Wihl for the Christian Spirituality wikis. Linda is a local leader in the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. http://www.ivcusa.org/

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